Moore, indeed.

To say that Krystal’s comedy is Patently Offensive to the Patriarchy is not just accurate, it’s a compliment.

But this was not always so.

Krystal grew up in Weiser Idaho…

…the kind of one-stop-light small town that’s got 50 churches but 5 cheeses. Despite her small stature, she was always too big for Weiser; her taste in cheese was far too vast & expensive. She took the hard way out but despite every dumpster fire, street brawl, & economic collapse; she flew… & while flying she realized that we’re all just a bunch of naked monkeys doing science and farting.

She is lowkey, but actually high-key, trying to start a cult… for funsies instead of power, so join her cult today! Krystal Moore is the Dark Pope, the only true prophet… and that’s because she’s the only one who will tell you she is in fact, a false prophet. Loophole!