🎙️ Idaho's Not Cute—We're Critical: Trans Power, Disruption & Showing Up Anyway 💥🏳️‍⚧️ World & Canyon County Pride, Human Rights Conference & ICE Raids - Oh My My!

We are pretty cute though 👅😉

From sneaking into national conferences to fighting for trans liberation in rural Idaho, Bonnie Violet and Pacey break down what it means to resist, speak truth, and survive when your existence is political. This episode isn’t cute—it’s critical.

What happens when national LGBTQ2SIA+ leaders underestimate rural resistance? When World Pride gets shut down by police but queers keep dancing in the streets? When you're told your life isn’t under threat, even as laws strip your rights away?

In this raw and urgent episode of Trans Joy Boise, hosts Bonnie Violet and Pacey share personal reflections from Washington, D.C., where Idaho’s trans activists were both underestimated and spotlighted at the Human Rights Conference. From affirming moments with icons like Raquel Willis to the deep vulnerability of being dismissed by those in power, we explore what it’s like to be trans in the trenches—especially in so-called "flyover" states.

You’ll hear:

• How Bonnie snuck into national conversations to make trans Idaho visible
• Why people calling Idaho “cute” is dangerous, not flattering
• The nervous system toll of constant vigilance in anti-trans America
• How World Pride DC’s protest roots re-emerged under pressure
• The spiritual and emotional impact of showing up, even when you're not invited
• Bi-erasure in media, pop culture’s shifting queerness, and burnout
• Why Pride must be both a celebration and a protest at Canyon County Pride

This is a love letter to those doing the work without credit or comfort—and a call-out to those still stuck in rainbow-washed apathy.

✨ Whether you’re on the streets, in the pews, or behind the mic—this episode is for you. Because we’re not here for cute anymore. We’re here for power.

🎧 Subscribe, share, and leave a review. Help amplify queer and trans voices from Idaho and beyond.

 #TransJoyBoise #TransLiberationNow #IdahoIsNotCute #TransVoices #PrideIsAProtest #QueerPodcast #HIVIsNotACrime #BiErasure #RaquelWillis #RuralResistance #QueerJoy #TransFemmeVoices #TransMascVoices #PridePolitics #QueerSpirituality #FromIdahoWithLove #CanyonCountyPride

Transcript

Bonnie Violet: 0:00

Hi everyone. How's it going? I'm Bonnie Violet, trans femme, gender queer, spiritual drag artist, chaplain, and I'm Pacey Trans masc non-binary Mental Health and recovery

Pacey: 0:07

Advocate,

Bonnie Violet: 0:08

and welcome to Trans Joy Boise, where every story, laugh and act of joy is a stand for our community. We uplift bold voices, share

Pacey: 0:17

real experiences, and celebrate trans lives thriving.

Bonnie Violet: 0:20

Tune in and connect and spread the joy because trans joy is unstoppables unstoppable. Yes. Awesome. I know. It's like we, we skip a couple of weeks and it's like, yeah, it does feel a little like, I don't know. It That felt pretty smooth. Yes. To me. Yeah. Yes. And I'm feeling awkward. Oh yeah. That always comes back, right? Because I'm always awkward anyway,

Pacey: 0:41

because I, I don't like being the center of attention. I hate it. Um, so anytime I'm, and like we're looking at a big monitor of ourselves and that does not help. So

Bonnie Violet: 0:53

it's not the greatest angle either versus

Pacey: 0:56

just like,

Bonnie Violet: 0:57

hi, but

Pacey: 0:59

yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, uh, yeah, we missed a couple weeks. I was horrifically ill. Mm. I get, I have chronic sinusitis and it's, you know, a consequence of drug use from when I was younger. So my sinuses are just fucked and anything. Can be in the air and I'll get a sinus infection. So this one was particularly bad. I had to have two rounds of antibiotics and now I need to get the. The rhinoplasty surgery. Right. And that's one that I've been terrified for over 15 years. But it's like, it's it's time.

Bonnie Violet: 1:29

Yeah. It was when you were texting me about I'm glad, so glad that you're feeling better.'cause I know you're feeling awful. But there was one time when you texted and you said like, I guess it's time to have the surgery. And I was like, I knew what you were talking about. Yeah. But, and it wasn't quite the The surgery. The surgery, you know, his text. I added a little oomph to it, but I, I almost sent a joke about it. I was like, I just don't think it's gonna come across. Right. So that's, but yeah. That's funny. Oh, thus It's funny now. Yeah. I was fucking miserable for over two weeks, so Yes. And I was away most of,

Pacey: 2:02

yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 2:02

The, i the last couple of weeks. Mm-hmm. So I got to go to the, hi. The HIV is not a

Pacey: 2:07

crime,

Bonnie Violet: 2:09

uh, uh, conference, or it's actually a training academy in Raleigh, North Carolina. Which was a really cool experience. Um, and then I, I was at the Human Rights Conference and the National Trans Visibility March and World Pride. Yeah. So it was like, it was really cool. And it was also, it was really tough.

Pacey: 2:29

Really.

Bonnie Violet: 2:29

It was really, really tough. You know how, um, it was just a lot, you know, a lot of us, you know, it was kind of cool to be with folks all over the country. Um. And mostly, um, when, when I go do stuff, when we go to trans stuff or HIV stuff, in other parts of the, the country, it's almost all run and led by black folks. Black, black and brown folks. I love that. Trans folks. Yeah. So it's really, it's really awesome and it's really a unique kind of, um, opportunity I think for, and so I always, I always love it and I als always learn so much. Um, and it was also a little, um. It was affirming as well as it was kind of disheartening. Yeah. In the sense that I found myself, whether I was at the Human Rights Conference or the HIV is not a crime or the trans visibility March stuff, like a lot of our communities are struggling. Yeah. There's a lot of difficulty in, in collaboration in working with their local partners. Um, okay. Yeah. And, uh, and they're really, um, I. You can tell people are really up in arms about it. Like I was in one con, one conversation where the instructor actually left

Pacey: 3:41

really?

Bonnie Violet: 3:41

And we just kind of picked it up from there because people were just sharing what their experience was as being like a translator right now.

Pacey: 3:49

Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 3:50

And you couldn't help but your experience kind of like. Um, impact other people in the room. So you might say something like, well, I lost my job and this and that, or it feels like only the, the pretty trans girls get the work, or, you know, things like that. And then, you know, the pretty trans girls in the room are like, what the fuck? Like, yeah, I've worked hard to get here too. And then there's like, so there's this, um, and, and I think everyone, we're all earnestly trying to move. At it, you know, and then you have trans men who are very regular, rarely even a part of the conversation.

Pacey: 4:25

Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 4:25

Uh, which is a whole nother issue. And, and one of the things that in HIV we're starting to see a lot more HIV with trans men as well. Really? And so they've always kind of been like in the background of a lot of the trans conversations. I mean, you have protect the dolls, right? Of

Pacey: 4:41

course. Yeah. You know, I did see that, like an alternative for that, like for the, the men would be. Uh, protect the Kens.

Bonnie Violet: 4:47

The Kens. Oh, okay. Yeah, I, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've heard them refer to as like, action figures or whatever, but you know, that's, I, I don't know. Um, but it was, so, it was really, but in a lot of ways that was affirming because I feel like that's a lot of the challenges that we've had here. Uh, there are a lot of us, um, in, in Idaho in particular. I think Idaho is really responding well. To what is happening and Oh yeah. People are coming to the front lines from all over and that has been really difficult, I think, for a lot of us to figure out our place. I know we've, we've even been challenged at times with feeling like either getting our toes stepped on or unsure of where we fit or you know, just a lot of different kinds of challenges, whether it's with other trans and non-binary folks, or it's, it's typically usually with communities that are like. Shared like broader L-G-B-T-Q communities than like other trans and non-binary communities. But, um, so, and it's like, and I think we're all, um, just kind of challenged by it. I don't think anyone has any mal-intent. Anyone is, um, not wanting to collaborate and work well with one another.'cause I feel like I have fallen into that realm. Probably just as much, if not worse, which has been really challenging for me.'cause I feel like I've always prided myself and I've always been one who's been able to kind of like be that in between and like be able to work with people that other people don't wanna work with in an authentic and real way. And it always had been, but I've been finding myself, getting my feelings hurt a lot more. Um, and then that makes it difficult for me to kind of move forward in a lot of different relationships. And I felt that. Locally, but even on a national level. Yeah. You know, a national level. The conversation about what's happening is so different. There's a lot more optimism and there's a lot more spaces for power, which, which I understand, but in doing that they kind of like don't for, they forget about us. And so I find myself a lot of times going, but what about me or what about us? You know?

Pacey: 6:55

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 6:56

And I did have an opportunity at the human rights conference. To shake things up a little bit. Oh, good. So I, I was a bit of a disruptor, which is not usually my mm-hmm. Thing, but I did get up there and I kind of called some of the speakers out and was like, I love that, but you know, what about places like Idaho?

Pacey: 7:13

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 7:13

You know, and what about this? And explaining our stuff. And I just kind of felt like talked down to

Pacey: 7:19

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 7:20

Like it was very patronizing and condescending and I was like, with all due respect, like, I get that. Yeah. Like this is not about that. Right. This is about the bigger thing. And really for us, I think it's like how can,'cause, because we are doing the work here. Mm-hmm. And I believe that we're gonna have the utmost success possible

Pacey: 7:37

mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 7:38

In Idaho because there are so many people coming together. However,

Pacey: 7:41

yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 7:42

I think it takes more than, than us here. Yeah. To have a bigger impact for us here as well as, you know, beyond. And, and I, I think some way, somehow we need to be invited to those tables. We need to be in the conversations which we are doing. Yeah. Um, a little bit more, especially with like the A CLU

Pacey: 8:03

mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 8:04

And that sort of thing. But, um, sorry, I feel like I talked a lot, but Oh, that's okay. It was, I haven't really processed

Pacey: 8:10

Yeah. The whole thing. No, it sounds, um, it sounds like a lot. Yeah. And I think that you're absolutely right. Like we need to be sitting at those tables and we are being invited to some of them. Mm-hmm. But the rest, like, we're gonna have to just force our way into,

Bonnie Violet: 8:24

well, and sometimes when we do go to those tables, are we really.

Pacey: 8:27

Yeah, right, exactly.

Bonnie Violet: 8:29

Because there's kind of that condescending like mm-hmm. Oh, isn't it cute? Idaho's in the room.

Pacey: 8:35

Yeah. But I think that that's, God, that's so fucking frustrating when I. It's like they don't know. It's like I think that their mentality is fucking cute. Like, oh, that's so cute. You think this isn't a big deal? Oh, that's so cute. You think that this isn't gonna happen to you. That's so cute. Right. You don't have to worry about, you know, catching criminal charges for your body. That's fucking adorable. In Idaho, we know what's actually happening. Mm-hmm. And what is truly at stake, so maybe you should get on our level. And that was kind of the vibe that I left DC with. Mm-hmm. When we went to that event was. Everyone was sort of in awe of how much I Idaho has going right now mm-hmm. Uh, to fight this administration. And it was disheartening to me because we are there out of necessity. Right. Like we have to be at that level right now. And if everyone else, like those cute people at the table that are talking down to you could get on our level. Mm-hmm. We would be a stronger unified front.

Bonnie Violet: 10:13

Yeah. And

Pacey: 10:14

like I realize that we're there because of necessity and they're not yet. But it's yet,

Bonnie Violet: 10:19

right. Well, we are only there. Like I was only at the human rights conference because I was, happened to like be able to sneak into somebody's hotel room and stay with them, and then I was able to sneak in to get a free

Pacey: 10:30

mm-hmm. You know what I mean?

Bonnie Violet: 10:31

Like I was able to sneak around and then I got like a cheap way to get, you know what I mean? Like mm-hmm. It wasn't like, and, and that is still privilege, like that was still a lot of privilege that I was able to get in the room, but that was the only reason I wasn't even there. But it was really affirming because when I stood up and I said that people. Were like, yeah, you were right. Like I, people encourage me, including people like Raquel Willis, which was like just, it was just affirming because I think sometimes it can feel like, honestly I felt like after I said what I said, I almost felt like shame about it because there was kind of this vulnerability, I think, and this weakness that like I put out there and then it wasn't really met well.

Pacey: 11:12

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 11:12

Um, and you know, it's like on a. A platform at this large con, you know what I mean? Of course. Like there's a lot of layers to it. So I don't really hold, I don't wanna like villainize these people. Um, but I think just in general, like I, I'm just one person. There's a lot of people around the country that's having a similar experience and there's a lot of people that national level that might come across with that attitude or perspective unintentionally. Yeah. Um. Uh, so yeah, it's just, it's just really challenging. And then I think kind of leading, I know we wanted to kind of lead into more local stuff, but I remember when we were talking about the, um, I think we were talking about getting to go to DC mm-hmm.

Pacey: 11:52

And

Bonnie Violet: 11:52

you were talking about how like it was rainbows and like, it was a really cool, like, uh, experience for you. Right. A lot of representation. Mm-hmm. And so I got to be in DC for World Pride for that, which, there was that excitement, but then. I left before the parade in the actual trans march. Mm-hmm.'cause I had to get back here in time for Ken County Pride and Exotica and stuff. But, um, the, the last night that I was there, the police was shutting everything down. What? Yeah. So, I don't know if you saw this Uhuh, but, um, and it was like all over some news things, but basically the, the mayor and the And Trump. Yeah. And folks were trying to stop. Gay pride, world pride. What? And so as it was, a lot of people didn't travel because they were trans, because they were like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. It shouldn't have been here in the first place. There were a lot of folks, but it was kind of like planned so long ago. Mm-hmm. And then things happened and yeah. I'm surprised that it still happened, to be honest with you.

Pacey: 12:48

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 12:48

Um, and so, but the interesting thing was when I was there, I think being part of the L-G-B-T-Q community and stuff, I was just like, oh, they're closing down the, they're closing down the roo the road so that we can have a. Have block parties. Right. Like, because that's'cause we're gonna be taking up a whole lot of space. Right. And that was my perception that we were having. So when I left DC I didn't even have any perception that there was some sort of like, oppression on us or some, like, we were just doing world pride anyway. You know what I mean? And so it, it, it made me wonder how much of like, I, I started to question whether that was good information.

Pacey: 13:26

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 13:26

You know, was Trump trying to, I. Yeah. Did they in the middle? Did they? You know, like, and it's probably true. And yeah, I don't know. And so I think that's one of the things that's been really interesting. Uh, I don't know. I just thought that was really interesting coming back to here, even after having that experience and thinking of the idea that they're even trying to shut down dc. But then, yeah, we didn't care. Yeah, we did what we were doing anyway. Well, at this point, we're used to it. I mean, and we've always used it. I mean, that's all about being, it was a riot. It was a riot. It was a protest. Mm-hmm. It always has been. I know it's felt like we've been able to like, yeah, it not be, but, but you know, pride is still a big deal here in places like here, or even smaller places in Idaho. Absolutely. You know, so I think depending on where you're at, it might not seem as that much of a protest or a proclamation, but

Pacey: 14:20

it's very,

Bonnie Violet: 14:20

like,

Pacey: 14:22

it's different now. I think. Well, this year it's different, but I think like the last five, 10 years, pride has become like this corporate almost. I, I don't know. Everyone has their, their rainbow shit out in June and then it's gone in July and it's just this giant party and everyone gets really fucked up and, and there's music and dancing and, and that's it. But. We're starting to go back to the, you know, the memory. Like this was a riot. Uhhuh, it was a protest. And it will continue to be because we have to fight still. Mm-hmm. And I think that I get frustrated with some people that are still very much just like, no, I just wanna party. It's like, yeah, like you can go to pride and have a good time and. Fucking party, right? Mm-hmm. But we also need you to be showing up in other ways where it really matters. Like, we need you at protest. We need you at hearings. Right? Right. And I think that now isn't the time to just focus on like the happy, fun part of it. Like, yeah, we need that'cause we need a really good distraction from all this bullshit that's

Bonnie Violet: 15:35

happening, but it needs to be booked. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think that the thing that's been interesting is, is now I think even these, like these folks that have been able to kind of rest in the mainstream mm-hmm. Of being L-G-B-T-Q. Now there are pride festivals are getting impacted. Like I know there's a lot of corporate sponsors that are pulling out, or at least. Doing a lot less than they were doing once before, which I know has caused, um, pride to feel a little slighted in some ways. Mm-hmm. Which they should. I also find it interesting that I think there's been like three pop stars that have, are no longer queer or Oh very, no longer appear relationships. Exactly. Like Fletcher Fletcher, I think Billy Eilish and Jojo.

Pacey: 16:19

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 16:20

Heard, I heard about that. They recently have like. Like, whatever. And I, I feel like that's kind of interesting and that also kind of makes me feel like I, I guess I can see why then people would be thinking that, like being queer is a trend or something. Yeah. When the pop stars are now no longer queer switching sides. Yeah. Well, some of them, and some of them are just in like straight passing relationships. Yeah. And like, they're, they're bi, you

Pacey: 16:47

know? Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 16:48

And where we always were. Yeah. So.

Pacey: 16:52

It's

Bonnie Violet: 16:53

tricky. And sexuality can, like sexuality fluctuates. Like I, I don't ever wanna

Pacey: 16:58

mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 16:59

Like, I don't, I just find it interesting that there's all this stuff kind of happening. Yeah. At the same time, it's,

Pacey: 17:07

it's just such a precarious time right now. I feel like, like we were talking about this earlier. Mm-hmm. Even if I'm feeling all right, you know, like I'm having a great day, I'm feeling relaxed, like my nervous system. Is the opposite. Like I am ready internally to either fight or run. I feel just because my subconscious knows that there's all this dangerous stuff happening around us in this country, and I can't truly relax because I feel like I'm just constantly keyed up. Yeah, and that bleeds into every aspect of life, right? Mm-hmm. Because I'll be like, well, why am I not enjoying this as much? Or why am I irritable with people? Or it's like, because I am. Distressed. Yeah. Yeah. At a very deep, fundamental level. Mm-hmm. And I feel like I've been like that since November.

Bonnie Violet: 17:58

Yeah.

Pacey: 17:58

And I feel like that's gonna, I mean, the burnout is starting to hit me from that.

Bonnie Violet: 18:03

Yeah. Which I think is wild too, because I also think, I know it's a lot for us to kind of like do this podcast or you know, do certain things and yet I find mm-hmm. That it helps me. Oh yeah. Cope with a lot of that.

Pacey: 18:17

Mm-hmm. That

Bonnie Violet: 18:17

at least is directly related to like being trans Yeah. In the world. Mm-hmm.

Pacey: 18:23

Right.

Bonnie Violet: 18:23

So I think I find it as a way of kind of empower. I don't know. It, it helps in some ways. I think it helps me feel like I have a little bit of control in like what's

Pacey: 18:34

going

Bonnie Violet: 18:34

down.

Pacey: 18:35

Yeah. No, I think so too. And just being able to talk about it with someone who, who understands or like just with trans people in general, like I don't have to. Explain why I feel certain ways about certain situations. Mm-hmm. Or, you know, justify my anxiety or fear. Uh,'cause that is still so old when people are like, I still get people, oh my God, on my Instagram, I got this girl saying, uh, well, trans people don't. Like they have the same rights as cis people. Like I don't see what you're upset about. So I of course like couldn't let that go. So I wrote this really long response mm-hmm. Listing like every fucking right that we were getting taken away, all these horrible things. And I was just like, how could we be this far in this? And you're still that doubt. And you

Bonnie Violet: 19:20

don't, yeah. Yeah. But there's obviously like some disconnects and there's obvious, like I think one of the things that we were talking about on the national. Level with folks is that, and, and I, and I feel this too, it's just like we, people are having a really hard time seeing past their own struggle. Yeah. To see the struggle of others. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? So I think the challenge is, is a lot of those folks are struggling in their own right? Oh yeah. Just in different ways. Like it might not be around there. Their gender though, probably.

Pacey: 19:51

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 19:52

Women probably could, yeah. Right. Say they're experiencing stuff directly around that, but they might not be like, equating it to that. Yeah. And are thinking about more economics or, um, job or mm-hmm. Whatever sort of, um, things that, that are causing them stress in their life right now. Yeah. And I think that's, I mean, I, that's the big, that's why like, that's what Trump and Alban want. Yeah. They want us to be be just like so divided. Yeah. Because we're, we're like stressed out. We're full of anxious anxiety, we're full of fear. Mm-hmm. Like all those sorts of things. I was listening to a podcast earlier with Tourmaline, who is an author, author about a recent book about Marsha p Johnson's life and mm-hmm. And it kind of goes through like, who Marsha p Johnson really was kind of like the good, the bad, the ugly, so to speak, in the sense of like the human

Pacey: 20:44

right. Yeah. Because, you

Bonnie Violet: 20:45

know, she's a saint and. All those sort of things in a lot of ways to our community. But at the end of the day, she was, you know, she was not perfect and she, she had major in middle mental illness. Mm-hmm. She was homeless at times. She was, and yet she was this like beacon. Mm-hmm. Um, for so many people. And so kind of understanding the complexities of that. But one of the things that she was saying, she had mentioned that, um, that like. The thing about like these times is like when we're presented with a problem, which is what's happening right now, it's like we have a problem, we have a conflict. Mm-hmm. We have to kind of tap into that. Like we have to start to live into the solution. Mm-hmm. And not focus on the, the, the, the, the like problem. Mm-hmm. So like the problem is presented now let's fix it or now let's work on it.

Pacey: 21:34

Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 21:34

Um, and that can be a difficult thing to kind of be able to change our. Perspective instead of getting stuck in the what's wrong mm-hmm. How do we move forward to change it? Right. In whatever ways, and I, we have to get inva innovative about it. Mm-hmm. They talked a lot about like, kind of like, they talked about like, um, kind of like nostalgia of like amusement parks and mm-hmm. Disney and kind of like getting into these immersive other worlds.

Pacey: 22:01

Right. Okay.

Bonnie Violet: 22:01

And really to kind of begin to imagine mm-hmm. And begin creating. A new life.'cause a lot of us, we're not looking to, we're not looking for things to go back to where they

Pacey: 22:10

were.

Bonnie Violet: 22:11

Right. We are actually working on creating a new

Pacey: 22:14

Exactly. Better world.

Bonnie Violet: 22:15

Yeah. For more people and so, mm-hmm. I think sometimes it can be easy for us, for me to lose sight of that. Yeah.

Pacey: 22:23

I think so too. I mean, especially if it says as dire and all encompassing. Yeah. As this, it's like you can't. You know, look at your phone. You can't look at a tv. You can't look at a newspaper without seeing something terrifying. Mm-hmm. And that does get exhausting. Right. But there are, I mean, there are these great distractions like Canyon County Pride. Mm-hmm. That was a great distraction. It was a beautiful event. Um, but there were a lot of protesters there that you had to walk through and, you know,

Bonnie Violet: 22:57

uh, I, I was. I, I got, I had to get there early Uhhuh, and so I entered to the rear Uhhuh and then I left out the rear. So I never saw a protester. Oh really? At all. Which is so wild'cause Yeah.'cause it seems like it was a big part. So I heard somebody talk about the protesters are kind of like another goof.

Pacey: 23:15

Yeah. Uhhuh. They basically were at the front. Yeah. There was a bunch of'em. And they were wearing, they had these stupid signs that said like. I am a sinner or Jesus saves sinners. And one dude had like a giant wooden cross and they were trying to hand out water and love bomb you. Yeah. And then they were just trying to say, trying to manipulate you into a dialogue with them saying like, Hey, you know, if you are open to having like a genuine, like authentic in good faith conversation, come talk and we're like. No. Yeah. But it was cool because earlier in the day they had a bunch of volunteers there with like these rainbow umbrellas mm-hmm. In front of them. So like they were to block Yeah. They were blocking them, which was cool. But it's like, that's just part of it at this point. Yeah. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Yeah. Yeah. So did you heck hold them at all? Uh, I didn't actually. No. My partner did. Mm-hmm. A little bit. Yeah. Um, but I'm just so burn out with, with, it's like the comment section. Yeah, I did get one particularly good one though, Uhhuh. This, this is where like the cognitive dissonance is just so strong. This guy was, you know, coming for me and I was talking to him and sharing actual sources and he is like, uh, well Epstein and Diddy were big L-G-B-T-Q supporters. And I was like the, the Epstein that is currently at the heart of like this huge. Breakup. Mm-hmm. Basically between Trump and Musk and Diddy, who people are like concerned that Trump is going to, pardon? Like Right. But he's trying to put that on us. So it's like whenever I think, oh, I can argue with someone, I think about that comment. I'm like, there's no arguing with these fucking people. Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 25:06

And it, yeah, there's no disconnect. I heard a lot of people, I've talked with a lot of people who had different. Experiences specifically with protesters though, where they, I think they felt emboldened Yeah. To have conversations with these protesters probably. And then, and then they were kind of wounded by it. So I like, um, there was one person who was obviously having some spiritual trauma response to what was going on.'cause they had once been on the other side. They'd been that person. Okay. Yeah. And so they were, um, definitely in their fields. And so I held space for them while they were. Pretty messed up at Pride itself. And then I've heard from people afterwards as well. And I think that's the why. The thing is so people, I don't know, it's so, I know we've gotten to the point for like you and I, where it's just kind of like par for the course, but yeah, that's also why it's so, I mean, that's why they do it because it is response. It can be hurtful, you know?

Pacey: 26:02

Yeah. And it's important to remember that you know, it's best to just not, and if you don't have the capacity to, like you. It's not about having the capacity to, it's like you shouldn't have to go through that just because someone else has those opinions and they're trying to hurt you. Yeah. Um, and everyone has different capacities for different things at different times

Bonnie Violet: 26:21

too.

Pacey: 26:21

Exactly. Yeah. And that was the

Bonnie Violet: 26:22

thing that I think, um, I, I've also talked to a lot of people since Pride who've had different feelings and where, in some ways where they felt less powerful. And I told them, I was like, where? Like they left Gay Pride and then somebody said something to them and they were like. Yeah. Hurt by it. Right. And it's just like, well, it, no, it makes a lot of sense because we go to, when we go to these pride festivals, we go and get to live in a world in which we get to be free. Mm-hmm. And liberative, and that creates a vulnerability and an openness and an expansiveness. Mm-hmm. That just makes us super vulnerable.

Pacey: 26:57

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 26:58

You know, in some ways you'd think it would make us more powerful and it does in the long run, but it does open us up and unless we're able to like, yeah. Close back up again in the ways we need to. We're gonna be like, just, we're just gonna be like welcoming it in.

Pacey: 27:15

Oh yeah. And we're

Bonnie Violet: 27:15

also not gonna be as equipped and as I think, ready to like, cope with it. And so, you know, I, one of the things I was telling people, my friends after Pride too, is just letting them know like, hey, like you're gonna have. Probably an emotional hangover. Yeah. Like you're gonna probably get in your feels the next couple of days you're probably gonna experience some depression.

Pacey: 27:35

Oh yeah. Because

Bonnie Violet: 27:36

what goes up must come down. Mm-hmm. You know, and, and um, I think sometimes we can get into those spots and it can put us in a bad way, but I think if we can just recognize that it's part of the process.

Pacey: 27:47

Yeah. Because

Bonnie Violet: 27:47

at the end of the day, we have to go back to reality. Exactly. And that is depressing

Pacey: 27:52

it. Yeah, it is. It's called the, uh, in performing. They call it what? Glitter crash.

Bonnie Violet: 27:57

Oh, I've never heard that before. Yeah. And I've heard that.

Pacey: 27:59

I hear that like from the performers. Right. But also when I was doing a dance mm-hmm. And there was like this competition thing, they, they warned us like, there's this thing called glitter crash. Mm. What it is. Like you're in the moment in this event or whatever, you're adrenaline is up, you're having a fucking great time. And eventually it ends. Yeah. And then. You crash because of all of like the chemicals in your brain dumping at the same time, all of that. But like with pride, there's an added element of. The knowledge that like, it could be like this, right? Life could be like this. Mm-hmm. Like you can just walk around just completely who you are and be safe and be recognized and seen for who you are. But then as soon as you walk back out those gates, it's back to reality. Yeah. And that feels even worse after you've been in something so positive. Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 28:47

You know? Yeah. Because you know it can be different. Exactly. And, and yet you, it's not right. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Um, what I have like some questions about Canyon County Pride, I. One, I think it was, there was no incident around like HP 2 72 70. Yeah. Right. So that was cool. There almost was, yeah. There was like some concerns around like some performers and stuff. But what, what would you say was your highlight of Oh geez. Because we got to be on the stage. Yeah. And talk a little bit about Transy Boise. Yeah. Take some questions from the audience. Mm-hmm. Um, but what kind of stuck out, what was your favorite thing about Canyon County Pride? Oh, that's,

Pacey: 29:25

that's tough. I think I. I really liked being able to get on stage. Mm-hmm. And that was a lot of fun. But mostly it was just seeing all of the people that I love so much in one place. Mm-hmm. Like I got to run into so many people that mean so much to me, and I got to see them having a really good time, you know? Yeah. Like some people that are normally like. You know, like poor Nixon, right? Yeah. Yeah. He's always stressed out about what's going on because he knows so much about what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. But he was having a great fucking time. Yeah. And like everyone I saw was having a great time. Mm-hmm. And I thought that that was really fucking cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 30:01

So what about you? Yeah, I think for me too, I was like, you know, yeah, I got to, I was on the stage for the interfaith service and the Trans Bo moment. Mm-hmm. But like, those were just like little. Like blips, it was like going to visit a booth or something, right?

Pacey: 30:13

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 30:14

Mm-hmm. And so like, I thought it was really cool that, um, I maybe didn't go around to all the booths and I didn't maybe engage with everyone mm-hmm. In the ways that I wanted. But I think the thing that was my highlight was, uh, you know, I had glued those butterflies all over my mm-hmm. My body and stuff. And, uh, when my niece, uh, chose a niece, Adair showed up when we were on stage. I got to see her afterwards and I had planned to give her. Butterflies. So I had glue ready and I had bubble fly butterflies.'cause I knew she'd want, I knew she'd want them. Yeah. And she had this unicorn horns on and the face paint already. And she, I, I went ahead and I put a, um, butterfly on her little finger. Mm-hmm. You know, and then she, she made me wear her unicorn horns. I saw. That was so cute. Which I was just like, oh my god. No. I was like, only you can get me to put these on my head. Did you get

Pacey: 31:00

a picture of that? I,

Bonnie Violet: 31:02

I don't know. There better be a

Pacey: 31:02

picture of that. There's probably something

Bonnie Violet: 31:04

somewhere, but, um, but yeah, she's a little ham. She is. I love her to death. She's like, it's so scary.'cause she so loves me and so looks up to me and it's just like, oh my god. Scary. But it's also like, it's such life, it's very life affirming too. Yeah. You know? Um. So, yeah, I mean, I would say my highlight was getting ready to, getting able to hang out with my niece and, you know, I gotta spend time with you and Rage. Oh yeah. Or you and your,

Pacey: 31:33

it's out of the bag at this point. They're fine. You and your person.

Bonnie Violet: 31:36

And, um, Ben and Chris, you know, Adairs parents. And so it, like, I didn't necessarily go around saying if there are plenty of people I didn't see, um, that I talked to afterwards, you know, like, Hey, I, I was like, but I, I just was kind of like, you know. I don't know. I just was kind of in my own little world. Mm-hmm. And just kind of, I kept my world really small that day. Yeah. And that felt, it felt good.

Pacey: 31:59

Yeah. I, I agree. I kind of did too. I just, I went and I saw the booths, um, and I got to see people that way. But I mostly just hung out with, like, you, my partner, my partner's mom was there for a little bit. Oh yeah. Elliot, uh, yeah. Got to see Eva, which was always a highlight. Yeah. It was great to see her too. And yeah, it was good. It was really good to see Queer collected, doing well. Yeah. Uh, our friends over there, I love them so much. I have to link them. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. So it was, we're gonna have to get them on here at some point. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. They're a riot. Yeah. Both of them. Yeah. And now, because everything has balance, right? There's going to be a couple protests mm-hmm. This week. Like there's one today. Today. Mm-hmm. That is. For what's happening in California right now with ice. And then there's one on Saturday for the 50 51 thing, the No Kings thing. Mm-hmm. Which is essentially the same thing.

Bonnie Violet: 32:55

Right. But, uh, yeah. So, well, which, and from what I understood, according to Rachel Maddow, which I don't know, it came across, it came across my little dooms scrolling. Mm-hmm. And they were talking about there was already 1800 rallies planned all over the country. Yeah. And back when they did the, um. Take your hands off. What is it? Hands off rally. Mm-hmm. There was a thousand. So they're expecting my, that it's gonna be like even bigger. And with everything that's happening, um, happening already in Los Angeles and Chicago, and San Francisco and Chicago. I know. I saw, um, a. A mutual on San Francisco that was talking about, they, they, they had a mayor meeting with the mayor's office. A whole bunch of different community leaders were called into a meeting and they all were told what's happening in LA is about to happen here. Oh my God. And so they were like, really just trying to encourage people, and I think this is the mixed feelings or the mixed emotions where they talk about being nonviolent. Right? Right. Mm-hmm. Um, but what, how, and I understand the being nonviolent

Pacey: 33:57

mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 33:57

In this sort of response, but what's. What's nonviolent about people being like kidnapped and deported and like harassed and like, it's just like it's gonna take a combination of violent and nonviolent. Well, that violence is wearing a badge and that's why it's okay. Yeah. I mean, how did, yeah. Well, and there's like, now there's like national guards involved at the federal buildings, which is normal. Yeah. Um, there's a lot of talk though that there's more marines coming in. Mm-hmm. Which I know is a lot of like what you've talked about. Actually, our last episode with Asher, one of your, um, my lines, lines I know was martial

Pacey: 34:36

law. Martial law. We're getting so fucking close too, because, you know, we have the. Within a hundred miles of the border. Right. We basically have that, and as these are continuing, these protests are spreading. Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 34:51

It's, it's gonna, and it's federal overreach. I mean, the governor of California is like, no, we don't want this. Don't do this. Like, and that's the whole thing is they're creating Yeah. They're creating this violence, they're creating this like, uprising. Yeah. Um, and they, that's intentional.

Pacey: 35:09

Oh yeah. Well,

Bonnie Violet: 35:09

because law can justify He wants martial law. Exactly.

Pacey: 35:12

Yeah. Like he wants martial law. I even heard something like absolutely ridiculous, a quote from Trump's lawyer. Uh, someone asked if the president had a political rival, like a, another candidate assassinated, would that be considered an official act? And basically, okay. Mm-hmm. And his attorney said, yeah. So everything that's happening right now is. Paving the way towards this dictatorship. Mm-hmm. And one thing that is a consequence of martial law is you can't have an election if martial law is, which is what he wants as well. Right? Yeah. So I think that it's getting, it's getting really fucking scary right now. Mm-hmm. The rest of the world is really afraid for us and. And

Bonnie Violet: 36:03

if,

Pacey: 36:03

if it spreads, it's

Bonnie Violet: 36:04

not gonna take long before it ends up places like here. Yeah. Well that was the thing that I remember when we were talking episodes back about like moving or not moving and things like that. And people were talking about how the blue states are gonna be the more dangerous states. Like those are the states that are gonna be under attack first. Yep. And it was Right. And us in the red states, we're gonna kind of probably be a little bit safer. Mm-hmm. Because we're the good old boys. Well, because they think they already have us. Exactly right. They already have this area, so to speak. And so I feel like we're definitely seeing that more and more. My girlfriend, Daphne was like, I saw on her TikTok that she was like in the middle of something happening in Chicago. Oh geez. Yesterday. And, uh, I know that I, one of the things I've been thinking though is like,'cause we are having a, we're having a rally this afternoon, um, in regards to ice, and I know recently the Idaho State Police joined forces, right? Or. Yeah. Here. Yeah, exactly. Right. Mm-hmm. So I'm anxious. Yeah. I'm a little anxious to think that maybe that could begin happening here. Yeah. I As soon as this, like this afternoon. Yeah. And maybe into the weekend with the King's thing, I think, I think the King's thing is just gonna bleed

Pacey: 37:19

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 37:19

Into all of this and probably just bring even more people Oh yeah. To those areas. It's gonna be massive on top of that. Yeah. It's so wild to think, and I feel like, you know, in some ways there's remini of like when the Black Lives Matters was happening. Yeah. Because I remember watching things happening in Seattle on TikTok during, when that was happening. Oh yeah. And watching the live streams. Exactly, yeah. And then now watching the stuff in LA and also Seattle and you know, like it's happening all over. It feels like that again. But also it feels like it's at a bigger level.

Pacey: 37:52

It's at a larger level for sure. I mean. The, the protest for BLM, like they got, they got big and there's vandalism, but not like what we're seeing in la No. Right now with like them throwing giant rocks over the overpass Yeah. To destroy cop cars. And it's, I'm, I'm really proud of everyone that's doing what they're doing. I hope that they're staying safe. Yeah. But I, my prediction is that it's gonna, it's gonna spread. It's, it's catching, you know, because people are finally starting to see like, oh, we can fight back.

Bonnie Violet: 38:26

Well, and I think people are realizing that this is, this could be that moment when, you know, like when things shifted in Nazi Germany

Pacey: 38:35

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 38:35

And people did nothing. Yeah. Right. And I think people are feeling that pressure of like, what am I going to do?

Pacey: 38:42

Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 38:43

You know? Absolutely. What am I going to do? Am I just gonna let things happen? Yeah. Or am I gonna do something

Pacey: 38:51

leaning into our community even more

Bonnie Violet: 38:54

right now? Yeah. And I don't know if our community is there yet, but maybe it is. It's definitely something I've been thinking a lot about.

Pacey: 39:02

Me too. Yeah. I just, I want to be able to make sure that we have resources for people that are feeling afraid and mm-hmm.'cause I, I, I didn't think that I wasn't doing all right, but. I've been really avoidant and really just kind of isolating. And it's weird for me now because like I'm not depressed. I don't have issues with depression anymore. But when I have, when I start acting like this, it, it feels sort of the same with like all the things that I'm doing. And I, I don't realize it until conversations like this where I'm like, oh, maybe there is something going on. Well,

Bonnie Violet: 39:39

no, and I think, but I think what we're doing and maybe what our spirits and minds are doing for us that we may not be aware of is a lot like what? Blake talked about when we had the conversation with Blake around, around the power of rest and rest is resistance. And I think a big key is, is that we better be catching our rest. Yeah. We better be like catching our moments when we can. Mm-hmm. Because it's not too far off, or we might not get that same sort of, um, uh, choice. Mm-hmm. That's a good point. So I think the thing of it is, thank you for that, Blake, is to really, we need to like rest in that.

Pacey: 40:15

Mm-hmm.

Bonnie Violet: 40:16

Um. For as long as we can. Yeah, I agree. And as often as we can. Yeah. So we should probably call it, I think we're gonna call it, I know if, was that five hours later? Yeah. No, it's good. I

Pacey: 40:28

think there's so much going on right now that it's good to, to just talk about it out loud. Mm-hmm. To kind of help it make sense in my mind.

Bonnie Violet: 40:39

Yeah. Yeah. Are we gonna be out and about and maybe. Streaming some of this stuff or like, yeah, I don't know.'cause I'm kind of feeling like if we would,'cause I'm feeling like I almost thought today we should have somebody come on who could talk about knowing your rights with the protesting and things like that, which we'll encourage and we'll push, we'll post some things on our socials over the next couple days mm-hmm. To kind of help people through that Right. In the best way we can. But, um,'cause maybe, and next week maybe plan to do it.

Pacey: 41:08

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 41:08

But, um. If we might not have until next week before. Yeah. It becomes important. You know what I mean? Yeah. We

Pacey: 41:15

could put something on our socials. I'll be at the one tonight and on Saturday I'll be there for a little bit, but then I have to go outta town. Okay. So I'll have to leave around one.

Bonnie Violet: 41:24

Mm-hmm. Okay. Well keep an eye out and also like we're just one little. Group. Mm-hmm. There are lots of organizations and lots of streams on tiktoks and Instagrams, and you know, that's one thing right now is there's lots of good information out there. Lots of live streams. Yeah. To help folks kind of discern and determine how they show up. But I would say just be smart about it. Think about like some worst case scenarios. Mm-hmm. And kind of how you're gonna deal with situations. Right. Do you have an exit plan? Do people know where you're at?

Pacey: 41:56

Right.

Bonnie Violet: 41:57

Don't bring your children. That's my feeling. Yeah.

Pacey: 41:59

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 42:00

Um, I'm supposed to watch my niece this afternoon, evening. Oh yeah. And so I'm like, I just don't think I'm gonna go.

Pacey: 42:06

Yeah.

Bonnie Violet: 42:06

Because I wanna, I wanna Yeah. Keep her safe. Keep her safe. Um, but, um, and I kind of feel a little bad that I'm not gonna be there. Uh, and there's a part of me that doesn't want to be either. Yeah. It's, that has a little fear. Um, but I'm grateful for those who are going out. Any who?

Pacey: 42:23

Yeah. Alright. Sounds good. Be back next week. All right. Bye-bye. Good luck. Perfect.